In Japan, chocolates take center stage every time Valentine’s is around the corner. Successful marketing has us believe that it is customary for girls to give chocolates to boys on this occasion. Chocolates made for this day are generally classified into two categories: the honmei (real deal) choco, which girls give to the object of their affection; and the giri (obligation) choco, which, as the name suggests, are given out of a sense of duty, or worse, pity.
It goes without saying that girls often go to lengths to make their honmei choco special. Making them from scratch is far from unusual practice. Giri choco, on the other hand, do not require much effort, but that doesn’t mean they have to be uninteresting. In fact, a number of ready-made giri choco available in the supermarket are designed to amuse, if not keep you in stitches. They’re aptly called “parody choco” given that they copy designs from existing products, while throwing in a joke or two. Here are some that I found the other day:
Original: Contac
Parody: Conkatsu 1510 Plus
Getting hitched in Japan is getting harder these days, and while some rely on fate, others opt to be more aggressive in their search and do konkatsu (partner hunting). This parody chocolate says that it’s only for the consumption of singles, and that it works well for poor talkers, late bloomers, and those who have forgotten how to love. Hmm, I know a few friends who could use a dose of this.
Original: Allegra FX
Parody: Horeruna FX
Arashi fans may be familiar to this allergy medicine, but unlike the original, this parody is explicitly telling whoever receives it not to fall in love with the person they got it from. If this doesn’t say “I’m not into you,” I don’t know what else will. Then again, there’s always reverse psychology.
Original: Minmin Daha
Parody: Shitsuren Daha
Is your friend about to confess his love? Try giving him this! Modeled after an energy drink that fights against drowsiness, this parody chocolate supposedly dissolves fear of rejection. Fear? What fear? Bah!
Original: Lipovitan D
Parody: Lip Pittan Chu (Lipfit Kiss)
Know someone whose battling it out in a love triangle? What better way to show your support than with an enegy drink parody? Lip Pittan Chu (Lipfit Kiss) promises to replenish one’s love supply, a must for trying situations.
Parody: MQQ Love Goroku
Now this is a double parody. Not only does it put a spin on Q&P, it also pokes fun at DAIGO, a Japanese celebrity known for using initialisms to throw in a punchline. MQQ stands for Maji Kyun Kyun (Hearttugs for Real), and promises pick-up lines that anyone would fall for.
Original Product: Seirogan
Parody: Seishungan (Youth in a Bottle)
Seirogan is to digestive problems as Seishungan is to midlife (or quarter-life) crisis! Experience fifteen all over again with this sweet thing.
Original: Bon Curry
Parody: Boing Curry
And lastly, if you’re looking for an apt gift for someone who loves curry and appreciates a good rack, you’ve got a winner in Boing Curry… except that it’s actually chocolate and not curry. Or boobies.
There’s plenty of other parody chocolates around, so the next time you go shopping keep an eye out for these goodies. A word of warning, though. You might end up wasting time away laughing like an idiot while taking pictures. I know that’s exactly what happened to me.
